A MODEST GRAMMAR PROPOSAL

funny-thief-help-police-comma-comicThe grammar police (“To correct and serve”) have a legitimate complaint. Language is under assault, and the malevolent perpetrators are, as in Dickens’s time, ignorance and want. No offense to educators (take note—offense intended by its denial), grammar isn’t being effectively taught. Even newspaper headlines contain horrible gaffes (“Bishops Agree Sex Abuse Rules”).

On the other hand, the silent judgment of grammar totalitarians can have a dampening effect on communication, which is the legitimate purpose of language. To dismiss an argument over grammar flaws, instead of faux facts or logical fallacies, strikes me as a modern form of class snobbery (and a cheap way to avoid an otherwise well-structured claim).

Authors know that grammar and punctuation serve an important purpose. For a serious explanation of what that purpose is, read my blog post on punctuation:

Punctuation is Sound Direction

But why so serious? We’re not all writers, and not all communication needs rigorous editing. In our contentious political world, there seems to be no middle ground for any dispute. If only someone could clear up a few of the more common errors with an out-of-the-box solution…

With that in mind, allow me to propose a tiny fix. One of the more vexing grammar errors involves the use of your and you’re. What if, instead of killing a forest full of trees in the form of blue pencils, we simply agreed to use the third in the triad of homonyms—yore.

I can hear you now. Yore right. Yore idea is perfect!

Start there (not their) friends. Baby steps! But if this works, I’ll write a blog that will forever solve the problem of the indefinite pronoun in conjunction and possessive forms. Don’t scoff. Itz possible.

 

About Brian C. Kaufman

Author, educator, cook. Given a tilt of fate, that might have been lead guitarist, pro wrestler, radio evangelist. You never know.
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